Nu vet jag vad kärlek är
by Echo Elric
Summary: Love is a glimpse of Heaven...Now I know what love is. When I saw the golden figure again, I fell into something unexplainable...could it be...? Russell x Neko!Fem!Ed. Very minor Roy X Neko!Fem!Ed. Rated "T" for language and suggestive themes.
1. Dreams are so Overrated

_Someone once asked me, "What is love? And why is it special?"_

_It took me years to figure this out. But after I fell for the blonde,_

_I had the answer._

_"Love is a glimpse of Heaven"_

_~~Ayame Chise_

* * *

><p><em>"BROTHER! BROTHER!"<em>

_He reaches for him, but it was no use. He ran and ran, but it seemed as if he could never reach his brother. He cried and cried, but it didn't change the situation one bit. He wanted to save his big brother from the Gates for as long as he could remember. But how can he? Alphonse Elric tries one more time to reach his brother. Just a bit...more..._

_"I'm scared."_

_This made the younger brother stop. He stared into his brothers eyes. Edward Elric never said he was scared before. He was always trying to act tough, and when he broke down he never sought help or show any remorseful expression. This made Al's heart break. Ed have always protected Al when he was scared, but when they separated all due to the Gate, Al found himself somewhat neglecting him._

_"Don't worry, Brother! I WILL find a way to bring you back home!"_

_Then suddenly, Ed's body seem to fade. Oh no, thought Al. He knew he was waking up, but he wanted more time to reassure his brother- even if it's just a nightmare._

_"Brother! Please! I won't let you down! I won't-" Al's voice came to an abrupt stop as he noticed that Ed was now gone. But what REALLY got Al shocked was because what Ed did before he completely disappeared._

_Ed cried for the first time-in a long time._

* * *

><p>Al shot up from the pillow. He was panting and gasping for air. The nightmare was just...horrible. He could only fear that his promise would waver.<p>

Al looked over to the other side of the double bed in which he laid in. He was glad that his wife was still sleeping soundly. He played with the strands of his wife's blonde hair before he stood up. He went to the other side of the room and undecidedly choose warm clothes. He knew what he had to do, but he knew it was a dangerous path to take. He glanced one last time at his wife. He whispered, "I'll be right back, Winry." and with that, Al walked out the door.

* * *

><p>"Scientist, there's a visitor."<p>

The blonde, dressed in a white lab coat, looked over at the talking co worker.

"Did they give a name?"

"I'm afraid not, Sir Tringham. But he did say that he knew you and it's urgent."

Russell Tringham rolled his eyes, muttered something under his breath, and went back to mixing the two test tubes. "They always say that. Tell them to leave."

The co worker nodded and left the science room. It wasn't long until the same co worker came back with another message.

"The young man says that he needs to speak with you about his supposedly deceased brother."

Russell started to get annoyed. "Did he give the name of his brother then?"

"He said something about...Evard...Edsard..."

Russell's eyes lit up. "Edward?!"

"Ye-yes! That's it!" but the co worker was too late. Russell already dashed his way out the door, leaving his project and made his way to the guest sitting room.

When he entered, he saw Alphonse get up from the lounge couch. "Hey there, Russell. Long time no see. How long were you going to make me wait?"

"Next time, give me your name." Russell said before greeting Al.

"How is it-to have your body back?"

"Ah. It's wonderful. And how's Fletcher?"

"His 15th birthday is after tomorrow, so he's staying with a trusted friend until then. You should come to the party." Russell looked around the room. "So, where's the pipsqueak?"

Al became distraught and looked down while twiddling his thumbs. "He...he risked Human Transmutation and got transported to the other side of the Gate to save me...and I haven't heard from him since. It's been 2 years now...and...and..." Al sat down and blinked back his tears. He couldn't continue, or he would be crying even more. Russell picked a seat on a separate lounge couch and stared at the broken down Al.

"What...are you...trying to say...he...why..." Russell stumbled over his words.

Al looked up, successfully blocked all tears and covered it all up with a determined look.

"I need you to help me bring my brother back from the other side."

Russell blinked. "What?"

"Your a scientist now, right? I know it's illegal to try Human Transmutation, but I thought about it. You all work under the Military's aid, right?"

Russell nodded.

"I can get someone from the Military to help fund this AND cover up and suspicions that may waver to other personal-even the Fuhrer. Trust me, this guy did this before and many times after."

Russell was very quiet, thinking about the plan. Then he sat back in his seat.

"Who is this guy you speak of?"

Al smiled that Tringham decided to help him. "His name is Colon-I mean GENERAL Roy Mustang. He became General after the previous Fuhrer deceased, so he's has a closer trust to the new Fuhrer."

Russell waved his hands in the air. "Okay, okay. I MAY join in this. But what happens STAYS between us, got that?"

Al nodded cheerfully. He stood up and reattached his coat. As he made his way to the door, he said, "I'll call this place tomorrow to give you information on a meeting with Mustang. Bye!"

Russell waved back as Al disappeared outside. Then his face got serious. This was no laughing matter. This could get them in a lot of trouble. So what Russell did the next moment was something he took as a precaution: he walked into the science lab room and called for everyone's attention. Everyone got quiet real fast-despite the fact that it was probably HUNDREDS of lab coat wearing scientist. Russell cleared his throat before his announcement.

"Anne and Riku, please meet me in my office for a top secret assignment."

A woman with red, curly locks and a lacy black dress and a handsomely groomed man with brown slick hair and regular care free clothes walked over to a room door labeled "Head Scientist Office".

Russell followed them in;but before he did, he turned back at the perplexed crowd of the remaining scientists.

"Due to the fact that this is top secret, all of you must never speak of this, or I will have you all arrested. Oh yeah! Also! Your all fired."

And with that, Russell closed the door behind him.

* * *

><p>~~End<p>

So? What do you think? ^_^

I am challenging myself to see how I would do if I was stuck wthis writing this story...

And "Her Golden Eyes"...

AND the novel I promised to do. I will update this story every Thursday-one day after "Her Golden Eyes".

Ugh...I think I am setting myself up for failure... _

Have a cookie! :3


	2. Affections are so Overrated

Anne was a beautiful girl (despite the overload of freckles.) .She has red curly hair that goes down to her shoulders and bright sky blue eyes. She had a black long lacy dress under her lab coat, for she was more professional and can improvise in her most effective ways.

Riku was a little different. He has a smooth tone of brown wavy hair thats short, almost framing his beautifully constructed face. He looked almost professional, but his clothes says other wise. He had somewhat a carefree personality is always a bother.

But Russell trusted them both. They were smart ones, and everything he kept secret, they never told a soul. So now it's just them.

"...and that's what happened." Russell was done explaining.

Anne sat back in her chair and crossed her legs. "Well, we DO have some info on Human Transmutation. And doing it scientifically would not have the same rebounds you would receive if you did this with Alchemy. So this can be a walk in the park."

Riku nodded. "...only if you do it right. Although, we could give it a try. Also, even though we don't have all of the materials, we could just ask that Mustang guy you told us about to fund us for the remaining materials."

Russell smiled. He made the right decision on letting only these two remain. Then he stood up. "Ok, since we are all in agreement, I assume that you two will be here at the lab again tomorrow at 9 am sharp. Look presentable for the meeting with the General."

Riku and Anne nodded, got up, and made their way to the door. But then Riku stopped. "Um, Russell. What about your little brother's birthday party? Surely you can't miss it." Russell's eyes went wide. He forgot about that. So he waved his hands. "I'm pretty sure that we can get Edward back in two days. We're too smart, remember?" Riku smiled in agreement and then closed the door behind him. And when he did, Russell plopped down on his office chair and sighed.

_What the hell am I doing?_

* * *

><p>Al slowly opened the door, not wanting to wake up his wife. But to his dismay, she was already awoke. "Al?" she said with curiosity. Al sighed and went through the door. "Ah, sorry for waking you, Winry-Chan."<p>

"Where were you?"

Al gulped. "Aha, I just...uh." Al definitely didn't want to tell his first lie, so he told Winry everything. Winry's eyes went wide. "No. Fucking. Way!"

Al sighed again. _Darn it, she was going to probably tell someone;_ Winry was on the right side of Justice.

"Can I come to the meeting?" She whispered. Al looks astonished. "But...you're-"

Winry interrupted by waving her hands in the air. "I don't care-well, I DO care, but still, seeing Edward again...is much more important to me - more than just some stupid cravings." Al nodded, and went over to the phone. He dialed General Mustangs number and told Roy about the plan. "Meet me with this Russell guy tomorrow at 11 am." and with that, Al went to bed along with Winry. And this time, Al's nightmares were replaced with a smiling Edward, who was soon to come home.

* * *

><p><strong>BBBBBBRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGG!<strong>

**BBBBBBRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGG!**

**BBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNMNNNNGGGGGG!**

"Hello" said Al in a weak voice. Who would be calling so early?

"Ah, so sorry for waking you, Alphonse. But what time is the meeting?"

Al sat up and looked over at the clock. 8:42. "Ah, I'll swing on by at 10:45 to pick you up."

"Ok, thanks."

"No, Russell, thank YOU."

There was a silent pause.

"Yeah yeah." click.

Al hung up the phone, woke up Winry, and they both got dressed. 10:23. Al drove with Winry to the Science Lab. As they pulled up, they saw Russell with two other scientists. As they got in, they introduced themselves and pulled out of the driveway and parked outside of an apartment. The got out of the car and knocked on the door that was labeled, "RM344".

The door opened to reveal Roy in proper clothing and behind him was a rather large and impressive room. They all took seats and started talking about materials, Edward, the Gate, what lies beyond the Gates, Human Transmutation, a plan, and arranged times.

"...Ok, I'll send in a budget later this afternoon. The quicker we get Edward, the quicker we can get this over with without any suspicions." Roy replied before showing everyone to the door.

* * *

><p>Later on in the afternoon, the science lab was fairly quiet now that everyone was fired. Russell, Anne and Riku are busy mixing new materials, testing test tubes, and collecting and writing data.<p>

After about 21 hours in the lab, finally Russell held up his clipboard.

"We can finally get started. Anne, call Alphonse Elric and General Roy Mustang over now." And I can finally see his smile. Russell's eyes went wide. Woah, where the hell did that come from...?

* * *

><p>~~End<p>

Sorry this was such a fast chapter...GOMENASAI! *bows*

I wrote this story years ago, and I just now found it.

And in the middle of reading it, I was like:

"I WROTE THIS?!"

Have a cookie, bros! :3


	3. Gender Blenders are so Overrated

Roy was not the type of guy to speed driving. But on this particular night, it was worth it. He had Winry Rockbell (soon to be Winry Elric) in the backseat and Alphonse Elric in the front, but he didn't care. He wanted to somehow see Edward Elric once again. Hear his rants again. Hear his complaints again, and feel _alive_ again.

In no time, he was in front of the Science Lab, rushing out of the car-Al and Winry close behind. Riku met them at the entrance, guiding them to the Lab.

In the lab was cluttered with papers, tubes, materials, googles, gloves, you name it. And right across the ginormous Lab room was Russell inputting something on a little touch screen that sat outside another room that was labeled "Light Room".

The trio approached Russell.

"Ah, your here just in time. You see, I'm just in the middle of imputing Edwards' physical appearance. I can use a hand here- since I haven't seen the squirt in years."

Roy, Al and Winry nodded as they answered coordinately to the questions.

"Hair Color?"

"Bright Gold"

"Eye color?"

"Gold"

"Height?"

"4ft"

"Blood Type?"

Silence. No one said anything. They didn't know Ed's blood type at all. Seriously. Who WOULD? That's when Winry just guessed.

"Um...Type AB?"

Russell nodded and imputed the last of the information into the machine. Then he gave a signal to Anne-who nodded in response and turned on a switch. The switch made the Light Room beam with so many lights it could hardly be easy to open your eyes in there.

Then, Russell grabbed a bowl of some mixed materials and placed them inside of the Light Room. The materials inside where what made up a humans body.

Riku walked over to a lever. As he pulled it down, he yelled, "COMP1776 is ready!"

Anne made her way to a different lever, pulled it up and yelled, "COMP1777 is ready also!"

Russell had a faint smile. He had some type of hope of pulling this off-Human Transmutation scientifically. He pressed a red button that laid next to him. "Ok. COMP1778 is active." And with that, a bright blue filled the Light Room-acting as Alchemy. But these colors were soft-and never turned into red light-in which red light signified as a rebound.

Everyone in the room began to smile as they noticed that a body began to form inside the Light Room.

This was the moment that they can see Edward again.

* * *

><p><em>Darkness<em>. That was all he could see. _Am I dead? Or am being born? Those two aspects of life can be so confusing._ He thought. At least to him, they are. But something felt different. If he was being born, then why does it feel like he's dying? But if he's dying, then why do he feel like being reborn?

All he know is that he felt like a beast inside of him is...emerging. It was taking over his body. And it...hurts. _Help_, he tried to call out, but nothing came out. Was his voice box gone?! No, it must be something else-it's got to be. He can make little sounds, but they made little progress. _What was this feeling?_ He felt it before...but where? This was frustrating him.

But finally, he saw a light reflecting from the darkness. He reached for it as it got bigger and bigger, until it engulfed his whole body.

He squinted his eyes. Ok, MAYBE that light was a little bit too bright. He looked around. All he saw was white. But he could smell rather sharply. Ed sniffed the air. _That smell..._

Al! Once again, Ed's mouth moved, but no sound. So instead smelled his brother-a scent too familiar._ Ah, why was smelling my next option-as if it was second nature..._ Ed thought, but quickly dismissed it when he felt two different people pick him up slowly and place him on some type of soft bed.

When the two people dragged the wheeled bed out of the bright room, his eyes had to adjust to the dim light.

But all he could see was blurs. But the blurs weren't too bad-he could distinctively figure out that six people were in front of him. One of them smacked his forehead and yelled,

"DAMMIT! What the hell went wrong?! WE BROUGHT UP A FEMALE!"

The second person was clearly Ed's brother. Ah, it was great to know that he was back home. "But this girl looks a lot like Nii~San"

The third person sounded like Winry. Ed felt like groaning. Edward bet on STEW that his automail was a mess and Winry was just itching for her wrench. "Oh my gosh! What if this IS Ed-but a FEMALE Ed!?"

The fourth voice was Roy. _Argh, that Bastard...maybe I shouldn't have reached for the light if I had to listen to him and his sarcastic remarks_. "That's impossible. Ed is male. Maybe we got someone who looks like FullMetal but not exactly him."

Ed shuffled his nose a bit, but his eyes remained closed. What was this talk of him being a girl? That's weird, he feels perfectly fine...

Well, despite the weird heightened sense of smell and his buldging chest...

Wait, WHAT THE HELL...?

The fifth and sixth voices were talking, but Edward was panicking too much in silence to notice the male-like voice saying, "We may have gotten some info wrong...Did you input the right DNA blood type?"

Everyone went silent. Ed could smell a lavender scent flourishing in his noes. It was kind of sweet, with a strong...wait a minute...how in the world could he smell Winry's perfume from days ago? Wait another minute-how did he know how long it was since Winry USED the perfume...something was DEFINITELY wrong here...a freaky nose and studs on his chest area...Ed groaned internally. He DEFINETLY didn't want to even THINK about that...

Winry blushed. "Well, I MAY have just guessed that one..."

Al's eyes went wide. "WINRY-SAN!"

Winry shrugged. She was actually pleased Edward was now female. Hey, the more female friends, the better.

Russell ruffled his hair-what he did when he gets frustrated. "...so the DNA is fucked up... Which resulted in a gender swap. I wonder what else it may have caused..."

Roy nodded his head. "At least you brought him back successfully. Come one, let's go see if he-uh...she's awake."

And with that, Roy, Russell, Al and Winry made their way the female "sleeping" Edward. Her golden hair shining against the white sheets that covered her. Her long eyelashes signaled her sound sleeping-or so they thought. He- er... SHE truly looked like an fallen angel.

Everyone started to take note on Edwards changes and what they were going to say to him...I mean, HER._ Man, would this be hard to explain..._ They all thought in unison.

* * *

><p>~~End<p>

Gosh, I need a break. :P

NO! NOT JUST YET! NEVER GIVE UP! :D

Have a cookie-and never give up, bros! :3


	4. Reunions are so Overrated

"Argh!" groaned the blonde girl as she sat up. Everyone-Russell, Roy, Al, Riku, and Anne-looked up and stared at Ed. Edward stretched and yawned. "Ah! I'm actually back! This is awesome!" Ed exclaimed. He...darn...SHE smiled warmly and looked at the people who stood around her.

Finally her eyes stopped at a familiar figure. "AL!" she screamed as she practically jumped off the bed to hug her brother. Al gaged and sputtered, flailing his arms trying to get air as Ed's grip became stronger. "I'm glad to see you Al! :D"

Al managed to wiggle a little and gasped some air. "N-nice to see you too, Onee~Chan. =_="

"...?!" Ed paused and let go of Al. Al looked confused for a second, but then realized what he said. "Ah! I m-mean, NÉE-San! Yeah..."

Everyone gave him a betrayed look. Did Al REALLY have to mess it up?!

* * *

><p>Ed looked baffled for a second, but looked down at her chest and saw two bulges against the white fabric she wore.<p>

Ed went wide eyed. She grasped the left bulge (Making Roy, Riku and Russell blush) and squeezed it twice. "IT'S REAL!" Ed screamed as she jumped back and fell to the ground with a loud thud.

"Onee~Chan!" Al yelled as he looked at his brother who was going out of control and hysterical.

"OH MY GOD! I'm a GIRL?! I WAS A BOY AT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GATE! What the hell happened...?" Ed said as she sat up. Russell stalked over, trying not to laugh, and offered a hand. Ed raised an eyebrow, and Russell frowned that Ed didn't remember him right away. Finally, when Ed grabbed the offered hand, her eyes lit up slightly.

"Ah-I remember you now!" She exclaimed.

Russell smiled. His heart began to thump loudly as he felt Ed's warm hand against his, and how Ed's eyes easily lights up as well as her hair. He loved how she can change her whole entire mood towards someone, and how she spoke to him without formalities. He loved the way...

"You gonna pull her up, or what?" questioned Roy. Russell blushed and pulled the gentle hand towards him, letting the beauty rise.

Awkward silence.

* * *

><p>Russell coughed. "Um...so you DO remember me, right Shorty?"<p>

**Clap!**

Blue sparks flew in the air as a fist came from the floor and punched Russell's stomach in. (ouch)

He flew to the ground and Ed slapped the wall to keep balance. Something threw her off balance when she transmuted. What could that have been...she thought, but soon forgot about it and glared at Russell who was wiggling on the ground trying to stand up.

"I'MNOTSHORT!" yelled Ed as the sparks ceased and Russell sat up slowly and rubbed his stomach while grimacing.

"Call me short again and I'll...oh! Colonel Bastard!" Ed squeaked as she saw Roy on the ground with a red mark on his face. Ed didn't slap the wall-he actually slapped Roy. With his metal arm, too. Ouch.

"Nice to know you really care, Full-Metal Pipsqueak!" growled Roy as he rubbed the side of his face and stood up.

Before Ed could retort on the pipsqueak comment, she felt two arms snake around her shoulders and pull her back in a big hug. Ed groaned as she she immediately knew who it was.

"Winry! Quit choking me!" Ed gasped while Winry giggled.

"Aha~~but I want a female friend~~! And you happen to turn into a girl! That's what you call "Luck"!"

Ed turned her head towards Winry. " 'LUCK'?! SO IT WAS YOU WHO MADE ME THIS WAY!"

Winry let go and shrugged. "Stop whining, Edo! Look on the bright side! Now you have boobs! Now your a full-fledged woman! Plus, FanFiction readers like that type of stuff~~!" She sang while spinning in a circle like a ballerina.

Ed huffed. "...'Now I have boobs'... You make it sound like I looked like a girl from the beginning..."

Al clapped his hands and tilted his head while smiling. "Good! Looks like everyone is getting along again!"

Roy and Russell sputtered. "Getting ALONG?!" they said in unison.

Ed and Winry looked at the two boys who were mumbling something about "Respect and friendship and bullshit" or something like that.

Riku approached Ed and smiled. "Hello. My name is Riku, or Scientist0467. And this is Anne, or Scientist0228."

Anne waved, and Ed waved back.

"We brought you back using scientific alchemy, in which Russell conducted himself."

Ed went wide eyed as she gazed at Russell, who smirked in recognition.

Ed pointed a finger at Russell. "Your name is Russell?!" she exclaimed loudly.

...

...

...

"WHAT THE HELL?! I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU REMEMBER ME!" Russell said while sobbing.

Ed shrugged. "I didn't say I knew your name, I just knew that you were that arrogant kid near red water back then. End of story."

Russell groaned. _Damn, so much for a reunion..._

Ed looked around. "Hey, speaking of which, I know for a fact you have a younger brother. Fletcher was his name, right?"

Russell practically went crazy.

"YOU REMEMBER FLETCHER'S NAME BUT NOT MINE?!"

* * *

><p>~~End<p>

I had to make this into a parody because...well...

I don't really like taking things too seriously! :D #bestexcuse

The only serious FanFic I have going on is "Her Golden Eyes".

And to tell you the truth, it's not much of a serious-all-the-time story. So yeah! _

More to come~~! (And yes, Neko!Ed happens overnight, not now) :3

#cookieparadise


	5. Teasing is so Overrated

**WARNING!** **SUGGESTIVE** **THEMES**...

...or just some really cuteness of a neko girl.. :D

* * *

><p>"Ah! This bed feels SOOO warm~~!" Ed squealed as she rolled around on the pristine light blue sheets of the ginormous bed.<p>

The surroundings were quite simple for someone who is a scientist-A plush bed,a nearby wooden dresser, and a table with all sorts of tubes and colored liquids in them that are either labeled, "Dangerous! Do not drink!" or "Chemicals! Watch out!" or "Perfume LOL".

Russell groaned. _Why did everyone decided that the Shorty should sleep at my place...?_ He thought remorsefully. Edward continued to roll on her back and laugh loudly. Then she suddenly stopped, and jumped up quickly to a leap-frog position. She sniffed the air.

Russell's eyebrow went up. _What the hell was going on...?_ He thought to himself. That was not normal...

His eyes went big. "Wait...no way..." he mumbled in disbelief. He speed-walked to Edward and held her chin up to his view.

Russell could feel her face getting red and hot, but he ignored it.

"H-hey...what are you d-doing..." Ed sputtered, in a slight daze. This was too much closeness for her, and she was almost certain that Russell was going to kiss her.._.wait...WHAT THE FUCK AM I THINKING?!_ She thought while turning even more red.

Russell turned Ed's head to the side, glaring all around her head for something.

Then he took his fingers and rubbed them lightly against a tender spot on Ed's head right above her ears.

"a-AH~~!" Ed screamed in pleasure. Her whole body felt hot and she felt her head go numb. She tried to brush off the blond haired man from her, but that was nearly impossible since her fingers trembled wildly.

"Ah...what are y-AH! ...D-doing...ah..." She stumbled over words.

Russell continued to examine her head, rubbing the same spot. Then his other hand went the opposite side of her head and rubbed in another very tender spot above her ear.

"MAH~~AH!" Ed screamed softly as she felt her body tip backwards. Russell, with indirect force, managed to lay Edward down on her back on the soft, plushy bed and allow him to hover over the petite body, continuing his teasing.

_What...is...he trying...to...do?_ Ed managed to think. The room spun in circles and she couldn't control her moaning._ This is getting embarrassing-what is he doing to me...?_ Ed thought as he felt her lower half of her body tingle. His warm, soft fingers touched lightly on her tender soft spots and grazed over them in a seductive circular motion. Oh God, this felt good.

"Ah...ah..." Ed mumbled out in disappointment when she felt the warn hands extract from her head. Her sanity slowly made back to her and the room stood still.

Russell stood up and went over to his dresser, opened the second-to-last drawer, and pulled out a notebook and pen and jotted something down quickly.

Ed sat up, still panting. "W-what was t-that for...?"

Russell turned and grinned. "Just checking something."

Ed was curious. She tilted her head in confusion, and Russell quickly caught this.

"I think the gender swap was not the not thing that occurred as a side effect-I think you became a neko, Shorty. And since the spots where animal ears are to grow are THIS tender and sensitive, it should be sprouting by tomorrow."

Ed's eyes went wide. "A-A NEKO?!" She screamed. Not only was she shocked from the sudden news, but she was slightly disappointed that that was the only reason Russell did that..._wait...WHAT?!_ Ed yelled in her thoughts.

Russell put on one of his sly faces.

"And I didn't know you can make those cute little moans for ME, my sweet little Neko-Chan~~" ^_^

Ed blushed and flailed her arms everywhere. "I'M NOT LITTLE, YOU PERVERTED OLD MAN!" ':

* * *

><p>~~End<p>

Sorry the chapters are so SHORT! Aha! Get it?! (Because Edward is short...no? Not funny...? S'okay...) XD

I'm just practicing, OK?! Geez... :P

This parody is REALLY fun to write! I'm making mo~ore! :D

Have a cookie, my bros! :3


	6. Planning is so Overrated

"How the hell did I end up in a dress?" mumbled the small Neko alchemist, who grumbled and shifted uncomfortably in the flowery dress.

The dress was huge, dammit! It was a humongous white and cream colored-coated dress that was decorated with silvery red bows and roses with gold embroidery. And to add to the list of shit, Ed couldn't stop tripping over her feet in the heels that bruised her feet.

It was uncomfortable and embarrassing. But hey-it was Fletcher's 15th birthday...

...and for his birthday, he specifically asked for a role-play.

Not just a CHILD'S role-play-Fletcher wanted a wedding role-play.

And since Russell wanted it to be a surprise, he made Ed be the bride, so Fletcher can be all like, 'Edward-San is BACK! :D'

When Russell announced the arrangement and made Edward try on the dress, Ed almost scratched the living HELL out of Russell with her oddly-growing nails.

Whoop-de-fucking do.

_He will die. He will die. He will die. He will die._ Ed kept mumbling to herself as Russell fixed his white dress shirt. He then clapped his hands, smiled, and gazed over at Edward. "Ready, Miss short Neko?"

Edward's eyes almost popped out of the sockets-he just insulted her THREE TIMES! She was not a "Miss" (According to Edward), she was not fucking short, and she was DEFINITELY NOT A NEKO!

Ed gritted her teeth and let out a small growl, but since this is RUSSELL we are talking about, he just shrugged and led Edward out of his apartment and outside.

* * *

><p>Decent. That was all Ed could say. The party location was decent-a small little quiet park.<p>

The scenery was decent-the river flowed softly as the sound of birthday balloons and wildly screaming children balanced it all.

And even the amount of guest were decent-Russell, Roy, Winry, (both in invitation of Alphonse) Riku, Anne, and Edward herself.

The small Neko alchemist sighed as she plopped lazily on a wooden bench. At least there was a place to rest her aching feet.

Ed sighed as she felt the two objects on top of her head. She groaned as she remembered that very morning when she found out she had her Neko ears grow in. They were HUGE! They were a shade darker than gold and was very soft-when you look at it. To prove it, Russell started to rub them again this morning, but Ed's ears are so sensitive, they whacked Russell square in the face.

Edward giggled at the memory. Serves him right!

Said blond man walked up to Ed. "Hey, Neko! Come on, let's go get ready for the role-play! My friend should be here any moment with Fletcher!"

Edward grumbled something underneath her breath, rolled her eyes, and gave Russell 'the finger' and still remained seated.

Russell sighed and went to Plan B. "If you do just this ONE thing for me, then I'll...stop calling you Neko."

Edwards ears started to wiggle excitedly and her eyes went wide in attention. Russell blushed slightly at the mega cuteness :D and continued the list to impress the small alchemist. "I won't just do that, but I'll even...let you sleep in my bed instead of the couch."

_'Wiggle wiggle'_, went Ed's ears.

"And I'll let you wear boy clothes instead of girls clothes!"

_'Wiggle wiggle wiggle',_ again went the elated ears.

"You can have all of the sweets I buy!"

"I'll even get you cat-nip!"

"..."

"...the fuck is cat-nip?"

"It's...food! Yeah, a special kitty food! That makes you..." Russell tried searching for the 'right' word. "...um...it makes you taller? Yeah-it makes you taller!"

_'WIGGLE WIGGLE_!' Went Ed's ears as she jumped up excitedly and nodded in agreement, and they both shook hands on it.

As Edward made her way behind a tree to wait for the 'ceremony' to begin, Russell smirked to himself. _Wow, I'm good. Sweets, cat-nip, MY boy clothes-we'll have VERY fun in bed. This will turn out sexier than I thought it would be..._

* * *

><p><em>~~End<em>

Cliffhanger; because I can

And if you know-or have an idea of what Russell is planning...

...PLEASE do not rattle it on a review-PLEASE!

Or I'll be sad... :_(

And I am taking a vacation! Hurrah! *dodges sticks thrown by you and readers*

GOMENASAI! GOMENASAI! It's only for a week! ^_^

Trust me, this FanFic is still going on! ;) I just need time to start this doujinshi someone requested. ^_^

Resume: March 13th *next update*


	7. Weddings are so Overrated

"Ba ling ling a ling~~! Ling bing a ling~~!" Al and Winry sang in a bridal tone behind a white curtain that hung on branches of two huge trees.

Then, out of nowhere, a Xingese citizen who squinted his eyes to the point that hurt stepped behind the curtain.

"Someone called me?" he sang in the same bridal tone.

Al and Winry glared at the Xingese man. Winry frowned. "Um, Ling. We didn't call you. We were singing the bride song melody."

Al threw his hands in the air in frustration. "AND YOUR IN THE WRONG SETTING! WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?! YOU COME IN LATER IN THE FANFICTION! NOW YOU'VE SPOILED EVERYTHING!"

Ling thought for a minute, and then grinned widely and lifted his right hand as if he was to high five someone. "Oh yeah, your right. Sorry 'bout that, guys!" and with that, the squinty man skipped off like a ballerina.

Roy peaked in next behind the curtain. He wore a silky black tuxedo with a shiny red tie too flashy for a thirty-something year old (I don't know his real age and too lazy to find out XD).

"Come on, Al and Winry! Ed is already about to go down the aisle, and we need you two for the vows!" Roy said, but didn't need to, for Al and Winry raced past him to witness "The Great Edward Elric Embarrassment Event".

Al and Winry sat next to each other; Al smoothed his black tux and allowed Winry to fix his icy blue tie. Her herself had the same tone of blue as her knee long dress that partially concealed her noticeable growing stomach.

Riku and Anne was sitting on either sides of Roy flaunting their expensive looking clothing.

But of course, they did not receive any recognition from no one because they ALL KNEW that those two got those clothes from the gas station right across the street. :)

And at the podium stood Russell behind a poorly made wooded stand with a pope-like costume of white and gold.

And right beside Russell stood a cute little boy. (ok ok I'm done beating around the bush. It's Fletcher). Fletcher was clothed in a pretty bright white suit with a complementing green tie that matched his green hat that you DEFINITELY saw him wearing on the 2003 series all the time. Go figure.

"OI! What the hell?!" screeched a voice from the opposite side of the...um...area. Everyone turned around and saw Edward in her pretty flounced dress.

Edward was too busy worrying over her uncomfortable shoes that just broke its heel. But then after a few quiet embarrassing stares, Edward went back to composure and went down the aisle.

But of course, we are talking about EDWARD. She was grumbling something under her breath about cutting off someone's balls for making this stupid idea happen and stomped her way to Fletcher, and then cursing unspeakable profanity when she realized that Fletcher was a few good inches taller than her.

Russell cleared his throat and blah blah blah we are here today blah blah do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?

Fletcher (with his adorableness) nodded his head like a bobble head and blushed.

Then Russel turned to Edward, first telling her to take her hair out of her mouth, and then asked, "Will you be Fletcher's lawfully wedded husband?"

Ed spat out her hair and grimaced. "Sure." she cackled.

Russell felt a sharp pain in his chest. He didn't know why he felt that, but he ignored it. He then turned to the small crowd. "Any object-"

"I OBJECT!" shouted a loud demanding voice panting and running towards the podium.

Everyone gasped in complete shock. But not Russell, who's eye started to twitch.

"I didn't get to finish my sentence...the little bitch..." he grumbled.

* * *

><p>~~End<p>

I'm BAAAAACK! :D

Its good to be back, because I love you all too much to not update today!

Yes, I am off of my vacation. And making this chappie was fun and brought back many memories of my aunt's third wedding. :)

Sooo~! Do you have a guess as to who objected?!

And just to make you mad, I already KNOW who it is.

PM me or review (per refer PM, so no one won't steal your answer) who you think is the object...tor (totally a word)

Whoever gets it right gets a shout out and referee request for either a story or picture for DeviantArt~~! _

Cant wait to see your guesses...if you dare ;) (Trust me, it's hard)

Until then, enjoy a cookie once more, my friends! :)


	8. Interruptions are so Overrated

As the huffing and puffing blonde male stopped to take a quick breather, Ed and Al's eyes went wide in shock.

"FATHER?!" Ed and Al exploded.

Roy glanced at the blonde figure as well, who was clearly out of shape. "Huh? Your dad?"

Ed growled. "If that was Hohenheim, I would have killed him right on sight...Roy, don't you remember-the promised day-Father?"

Roy shrugged. He was blind for the majority of the time, for gosh sakes!

Al pointed a figure at Father. "WHAT THE HELL?! I THOUGHT TRUTH BANISHED YOU!"

Father (who finally caught his breath), shook his head. "Truth banished me, alright! I am even gonna get him back for that...but someone ELSE brought me back."

Fletcher and Russell remained silent for a minute, wondering whether they should leave or not.

Ed raised an eyebrow. "Who?" Father stepped aside to reveal another old blonde male behind him. The blonde male smiled nervously and waved. "H-hey there, Edward..."

Edward gritted her teeth and grabbed the sides of her dress and ran as fast as she could in those cursed heels towards the blond male, and punched him in the face with her auto-mail. "YOU FUCKER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

Al stood up from his seat. "Dad?!"

Fletcher looked confused for a second, and then his eyes went wide. " 'Dad'?! So...that was Edward...?!" Russell sweat dropped. "Ye-yeah...sort of..." and he went on explaining why Ed was a girl to Fletcher.

Roy and Winry was too busy laughing at Ed's behavior. They just love Ed's constant violence towards his father.

Ed continued to pound her father with punches, even managing some on Father.

"...SO I MARRIED EDWARD?! EWW, YUCKIE!" gaged Fletcher. Riku, Roy, Anne, and Winry could NOT stop laughing.

And somehow, through all of this commotion, Ling was able to snatch some snacks from the buffet table, and even a slice of cake.

**Me:** Good for you, Ling! *high five*

**Ling:** Thanks! *high fives back*

**Me:** ^_^

**Ling:** ...shouldn't you get back to the story, Ayame?

**Me:** o-oh yeah...

Roy, who finally stopped his giggling, sat up straight to refrain from another laughing fit. "Then, Father, why did you object?" Father barely dodged an attack from Ed and looked over at Roy. "I just thought it would be pretty fucking cool! I thought I could get more fangirls that way!" he screamed desperately.

Roy smirked and stood from his chair and placed one foot on the chair, and grinned. "NO one will have as many fangirls as I do!" he said in Alex Louis Armstrong's voice. "The fangirling qualities have been passed down in my family for GENERATIONS!"

Ed spun around. "YEAH FUCKING RIGHT! YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE _HALF_ OF THE FANGIRLS THAT I HAVE!" she said with a smirk. "Isn't that right, Al?!" Al jumped in surprised, but then lowered his shoulders and twiddled his thumbs. "Well, Onee-Chan. When you was a hot boy, you had a lot of fanGIRLS. Now since you're a hot girl, you now have fanBOYS."

Ling appeared out of nowhere again. "I'm a fanboy!"

Ed spun around and growled. "GET OUT OF HERE, LING!"

Ling ran up and practically jumped on Ed. "AWW WHY?! Your so KAWAII!"

"GET OFF, I SAID!"

Ling rubbed his face against Ed's one more time and skipped away. "I'll be back~~! ;D"

"Ah~~!" Winry yelped as she clamped onto her stomach. Al spun around. "Winry!" he said as he rubbed her back and belly.

"Why are you so MEAN to me, Edo?" Ling cooed.

"Yeah, Edward! WHY WOULD YOU TRICK ME TO MARRY YOU?!" Fletcher yelped.

Ed pointed to Russell.

"IT'S ALL HIS FAULT! HE WAS THE CAUSE!" Russell lifted his hands in defense. "I didn't do ANYthing, Neko!"

Ling's eyes widened as he glanced at Ed's head. "WOAH! YOU HAVE EARS?!" then he grabbed onto Ed again. "SO KAWAII!"

Ed flailed her arms around. "I'M NOT A FUCKING NEKO, YOU-"

"CAN YOU GUYS SHUT THE FUCK UP AND TAKE ME TO A FUCKING HOSPITAL?!" Winry screamed at the top of her lungs, making everyone pause in silence.

"Y-Your...PREGNANT?!" Ed yelled.

Then she glared at Al, who sweat dropped and chuckled nervously.

"Al...you have some explaining to do..."

* * *

><p>~~End<p>

Poor Al...

**Al:** Oh no...WHY?! WHY MUST YOU HAVE ONEE-CHAN PLAN TO KILL ME~~!? *cries in corner*

**Me:** Aww...sorry...will this help? *gives a white kitten to him*

**Al:** *puts kitty on lap and strokes its fur, sniffing a bit*

**Me:** Ah...think I did something wrong...oh well~~~review so Al won't be so sad~~!

**Al:** UWAHH! THIS KITTY REMINDS ME OF ONEE-CHAN! *cries some more*


	9. GoodbyeTemperaily

I feel sad.  
>Because I HAVE TO LEAVE FOREVERRRRRRRRR<p>

...just kidding. I am not going to leave forever.

Its just temporary-because of a wide variety of things::

**1.) TEST**

As soon as I land in America, I have to take a test (forgot what it is called) where me and my brothers have to take to stay in America as "American citizens"

So I have to study American history and all of those things. I only know a few things like the English language and the Star Spangled Banner (?)

**2.) LIFE**

I need to deal with school AGAIN! So I have to focus in school and focus on making sure our household stays in one, because I hate leaving things all up to my brothers. That is just wrong in my opinion, so I do what I can.

**3.) SOPA**

A few of you know this. SOPA is something about the government against sharing sites of creativity. So if you REALLY love DeviantArt, LiveJournal or FanFiction, well too bad because the government is trying (once again) to ban these sites from the Internet!

So I have to help out with that, because the due date for votings is near, and I love these sites where you can express yourself. So I am going to help out with that as much as I can.

I WILL still be able to check in DeviantArt a little-but very rare. I can't wait until I can resume my Internet life with you all~~!

I love you all, and I have courage in you all. Don't let anyone bring you down, or I SHALL BEAT THEM UP! :C

I'll miss you. :_) (BUT I'LL BE BACK, GOD DANGIT!)

***Backflips to space***

**~~Ayame**


End file.
